Next to our own sense of self, our partner relationship can be our most valuable resource and the most important contributor to our happiness. A good marriage or partner relationship increases our sense of safety and security in the world while at the same time gives us the strength and confidence we need to grow, explore and achieve. Amazingly, a good couple’s relationship increases our physical and mental health! On the other hand, when our partner relationship is distressed, our sense of well-being, our ability to face the world, and our physical and mental health can all be negatively impacted.
In couple’s counseling, both partners first learn to understand what their patterns and styles of communication say about themselves as individuals and as a couple. They learn to see these patterns – not themselves or each other – as the enemy in their relationship. In the counselor’s office, both partners feel equally understood, validated, and supported. As each partner explores and shares their feelings in this safe environment, each person’s experience of themselves and of the other is transformed. One partner may change from feeling withdrawn and hopeless, to angry, then to confidently assertive and fully engaged. The other partner may shift from being initially critical, to understanding and vulnerable themselves. The bonding experiences that occur as each partner sees the other in new, deeply insightful and caring ways, are some of the most powerful and rewarding moments that occur in psychotherapy.
At Gallatin Psychotherapy, our approach to couple’s counseling is based in Emotionally Focused Therapy. This approach has the greatest success of all empirically tested methods, achieving a 75% success rate and 90% improvement rate in research studies. Couples and individuals who would like to explore this method on their own can purchase Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, by Dr. Sue Johnson, published in 2008 by Little, Brown and Company. Hold Me Tight presents a simplified version of Emotionally Focused Therapy in everyday language for the understanding and use of the general public.